I’ve been so patient, and I haven’t lied to my family when I have said that the delay doesn’t bother me as much I imagine it is bothering Twat Face. I would think that as much as he hates the process, he just wants it over.
The adventure is over, and it was fantastic. I can honestly say that throughout the trip, I was relaxed, having fun, and in awe of the beauty around me.
I have spent so much time just surviving, that I can’t remember the last time that I really lived. As the New Year came around, I woke up feeling a little optimistic. I had unusually had a good night sleep, I felt loved, cosy, comfortable, but mostly brave. Being such a procrastinator lately, I couldn’t risk the feeling passing, so I stepped out of my comfort zone, and made the first step towards my adventure.
Explaining Anxiety and depression is never easy. This maybe because as much as people suffering want you to understand, they don’t have the emotional capacity at that time to explain it to you.
I was wrong! In part 2, I suggested that going to the doctors may not be as helpful as it could be due to the time I would need to go through everything with the doctor,
I was going to tell you about the various things that I am currently dealing with physically, but as you can see from Head, Torso, Knees and Toes PT1, I didn’t get far past the ‘head’.
The problem with suffering from a mental illness is that many people, without first experiencing it, can’t understand it.
Now that the ‘secret’ is out, my family have taken great comfort from their close friends. Prior to Twat Faces arrest, they were wary as to who they could tell.
During the church service where everyone offers piece, although there was little doubt that he would not approach whilst I was there, I did have to be sure, so I approached him first so that my mum wouldn’t be put in the position of facing him, and potentially choking him on sacred ground.
Only 5 more sleeps to go… The closer it comes, the harder it is getting. My brain won’t switch off, it flips between being excited about finally not having this secret, and wondering about the future, and about what it may hold for me.