Chapter 18 : I Believe in Angels
I’ve been extremely lucky on my journey through this life, and sometimes, it takes a bad time to appreciate just how lucky I have been. I’ve never been one to surround myself with lots of people, I have been quite selective of who I have in my life. I’m always kind and friendly, so a lot of people throughout the years will attest to that I’m sure, but there are only a few that I really trust. As I look through all of the people that I love, I realize that I am far luckier than most people. Some focus on their one true love, and have little time for anyone outside of that relationship, or they save their love for their family, and don’t allow anyone else deep into their hearts. For me, I believe that the people in my life that I truly trust are the ones that I can honestly say that I love. I don’t mean ‘love’ in the way that teenagers end conversations to their ‘homeys’, with “Luv Ya”, not realizing how fickle friendships can be, and that person that you’re hollering “luv ya” too, could well be your sworn mortal enemy by this time next week, and then friends again etc.. I mean, to really love; the way you love your family, your parents, your children, your husband, the way you should love yourself. Real, honest to god, throw yourself in front of a bus for them, love.
I’ve lived many lives during my 40+ years, and in each of them, I have been lucky to not just meet many people that have brought me laughs, been good company, been the source of unlimited entertainment, and sometimes lovers, but in each, I have met just one or two people that have continued my journey with me, and become my ‘No Good for a Kidney Family’. Not that anyone of them would have a problem giving me a kidney if I needed one – that’s the amount of faith and love there is, but there is; a) probably not a genetically good match, and b) My kidneys are about the only part of me that I have no issues with at all, so I shouldn’t need one. I should maybe be a little concerned that some of them have not quite looked after their kidneys quite as well as me, and may well require one from me at some point if they aren’t careful…
Each of the people that are on that list, have all been with me during this journey; Before I broke it to my family, before I had the courage to face it, and during my struggles whilst dealing with it. They have been there, just like little angels, each with their own roles in my journey.
That doesn’t mean that the family have been delegated though! From the moment they found out about this, they have carried me through, taken some of the weight from my NGFAK (No Good for a Kidney) family. In turn, my family have their own team of Angels on this earth, a support network that hasn’t faltered, that have given support to them that has not only enabled them to carry on supporting me selflessly, but allowed me to accept the help, by lessening my guilt of the amount of hurt that I have given them by finally being honest.
I am truly convinced that these are all Angels on earth, and anyone that has a part in this story, is one of those special people. I hope they all appreciate how much they mean to me, how much I love them and will forever be indebted to them for their help and support during this journey.
Big shout out to Jackie, Super Ex, Penelope & George (& baby Boo), Poppy, Woody, Mr & Mrs Genius, Maz & Ma, and of course my ‘very good for a kidney family’. I love you all.