The adventure is over, and it was fantastic. I can honestly say that throughout the trip, I was relaxed, having fun, and in awe of the beauty around me.
I have spent so much time just surviving, that I can’t remember the last time that I really lived. As the New Year came around, I woke up feeling a little optimistic. I had unusually had a good night sleep, I felt loved, cosy, comfortable, but mostly brave. Being such a procrastinator lately, I couldn’t risk the feeling passing, so I stepped out of my comfort zone, and made the first step towards my adventure.
I was telling you in my last post about the first court hearing, where ‘he’ changed his plea ~ again ~ to guilty, but his defense was that I was not eleven, I was fourteen. When I was told this by the policeman that attended, and was updating me, it made me worry.
Explaining Anxiety and depression is never easy. This maybe because as much as people suffering want you to understand, they don’t have the emotional capacity at that time to explain it to you.
Back in Chapter 7 : The Damage Done, I told you about the atrocious tattoos that I got, and my terrible, illogical reasons for getting them.
I was wrong! In part 2, I suggested that going to the doctors may not be as helpful as it could be due to the time I would need to go through everything with the doctor,
Around the village, more and more people are being told about what has happened. My mum is so upset, and also angry that he doesn’t know how many people know.
The problem with suffering from a mental illness is that many people, without first experiencing it, can’t understand it.
Yesterday was a difficult day; it was my interview with the police. I haven’t slept in almost 4 months with the anxiety of this trip.
Only 5 more sleeps to go… The closer it comes, the harder it is getting. My brain won’t switch off, it flips between being excited about finally not having this secret, and wondering about the future, and about what it may hold for me.